When should you marry?
A complex question, right? Well, what is the answer? In my opinion, there is no one answer to this. A lot of circumstances in life affects what one deems as the answer. I went ahead to make a list of possible responses. Responses I hope you find useful and educating.
When you find a potential partner.
When you meet or are with someone who has a good character. A man who makes it clear that he would like to settle soon. In some cases, he might not be the one to ask the question or even make the suggestion, but if he is worth it don’t let it go because you will prefer he asked you first. Initiate a discussion and be bold and confident enough to ask the question yourself. Remember, life is too short to invest time on someone who will end up wasting it.
You want to and not pressured to.
Isn’t this always the norm. The constant pressure to catch up with your peers in the form of competition. The question is why the competition in the first place to be like so and so. When you are not so and so. You are you. Do not be compelled to start a life with someone else if you are not ready to, for any reason. Your life is not a competition. It is a journey and a personal one in most cases.
You understand what it involves and, you are ready to face the responsibilities that come with it.
Do you know your rights and responsibilities in a marriage? Are you planning to have children immediately? Do you prefer to keep working or be a stay at home mother? What will your social life become? What does having a partner mean to you? If you can confidently answer these question sand more the go for it. It is common to see young ladies rush into a marriage without really knowing what it entails. Yes, it is beautiful and, yes you are head over heels in love.
But here is a piece of advice take a deep breathe and try getting out of that space for a while to think logically about your future with someone else. Your goals and dreams, his goals and aspirations, and see if they truly align. The thing is the initial feelings of butterflies, newfound love and obsession do not fade. It evolves and matures. It becomes more wholesome and inclusive of every aspect of your life, be it good or bad. You can remain head over heels in love with each other for a long time but remember that it comes with more effort, patience and sacrifice.
You are content with who you are and your current situation.
why is this important? Because sometimes people tend to go into a marriage to fill a void or to mend something. In other words, to achieve from the union, what they think is missing or lacking in their lives. It is the wrong approach. Find yourself and be content before accepting to build a life with another person. You must understand that the statement, when I get married so and so will be better or so and so will happen, does not always work out well. Work on yourself. Remember, you are whole before you decide to become a part of someone. Always make a resolve to keep on growing and improving, no matter how little your progress.
You love him and he loves you.
This usually gets mixed up (if you know what I mean). It renders it unreliable in most cases. Although it does not mean it can not happen for you. It is possible to be with someone you genuinely love and adore and, vice versa. As love is both your foundation in its purest, unselfish form. You eventually understand all aspects of your relationship. Through patience and the pure form of genuine love you have for each other from the get-go.
What if you are already married and you feel like you didn’t apply any of these during your time. Guess what? It is not late. Use the opportunity to learn more about yourself. Make a resolve to know more about how you can better improve yourself to serve the marriage better. Aim to be a role model for those around you. Like I said earlier, you are whole before you decide to become a part of someone else.
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